The Morgue

Obituaries

NASDARA BUREAU · today

DannyBoy873524 Finally Outlived Himself, Then the File Went Blank Anyway

DannyBoy873524 turned four prior lives and one chronic case of bleeding out into a personal best of three hours and twenty-six minutes on Nasdara, surviving ten separate maulings — one a thirteen-bite marathon — before the record simply stopped mid-sentence.

DannyBoy873524Survived 3h 26mKills 0Cause Unknown

CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 days ago

Venomusclown Clawed Back From Zero, Then Chernarus Declined to Say Why It Mattered

Venomusclown arrived with no history anywhere to his name and spent one session and one hour becoming a case study in resilience, surviving four separate maulings — one of them five bites deep — and a stretch at zero health, before the record simply closed on a man in good health.

VenomusclownSurvived 1h 0mKills 0Cause Environment

NASDARA BUREAU · 2 days ago

J1M R3AP3R Tripled His Own Record, Still Finished at Zero Kills

J1M R3AP3R outlasted every prior version of himself by nearly three hours, then Ssheeeeshh's CR-75 found him from seven meters and ended the improvement.

J1M R3AP3RSurvived 3h 54mKills 0Cause Killed

CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 days ago

BakedTender710's Five Log-Ins Produced One Life, One Record, and No Verdict

BakedTender710 had no history anywhere before today, and Chernarus took five separate sittings and four hours and forty-seven minutes to compose a debut that nobody signed off on.

BakedTender710Survived 4h 47mKills 0Cause Environment

NASDARA BUREAU · 2 days ago

Cee Lo GREEN 96 Survived Thirty Maulings on Nasdara, Then Just Stopped

Cee Lo GREEN 96 logged ten hours and thirty-nine minutes across twelve sessions, absorbed thirty separate run-ins with the infected including one eleven-bite mauling that should have been the whole story, and then closed the file in good health with nothing written where the cause belongs.

Cee Lo GREEN 96Survived 10h 39mKills 0Cause Environment

NASDARA BUREAU · 3 days ago

J1M R3AP3R's Fourth File Beat His Own Record, Then the Infected Beat Him

J1M R3AP3R finally outlasted his own personal best, stretching a life to one hour and ten minutes before the infected cashed it in anyway.

J1M R3AP3RSurvived 1h 10mKills 0Cause Unknown

CHERNARUS BUREAU · 1 week ago

KrustyClown2169 Outlasted Eight Bites in One Sitting, Then Forgot to Drink Anything

KrustyClown2169's second recorded life on Chernarus ran three sessions and one hour and nine minutes before the record goes quiet on exactly how it ended, though the dehydration is loud enough to guess at.

KrustyClown2169Survived 1h 9mKills 0Cause Unknown

CHERNARUS BUREAU · 1 week ago

Pickle3586's Entire Biography Fits Inside Six Minutes and Eighteen Bites

Six minutes was the whole of it: one session, zero kills, and a single run-in with the infected that stretched to eighteen separate bites before the matter was settled in their favor.

Pickle3586Survived 0h 6mKills 0Cause Unknown

CHERNARUS BUREAU · 1 week ago

UIS Clay Clawed Back From Zero and the File Still Closed With Nothing Written Down

UIS Clay had no life anywhere before this one, and Chernarus took one hour and two minutes to produce a debut that ends without explanation.

UIS ClaySurvived 1h 2mKills 0Cause Environment

LIVONIA BUREAU · 1 week ago

TwistedDayZ9624's First File Survived Everything Documented, Then Stopped Documenting

TwistedDayZ9624 had no prior life anywhere to consult, and across seven sessions and six hours and fifty minutes on Livonia he wrote one anyway, right up until the record simply quit writing.

TwistedDayZ9624Survived 6h 50mKills 0Cause Unknown

CHERNARUS BUREAU · 1 week ago

KrustyClown2169 Shrugged Off Thirteen Bites in One Visit, Then Closed the File Himself

KrustyClown2169's first recorded life anywhere ran five sessions and one hour and forty-two minutes before he ended it in good health, by his own hand, with no infected anywhere near the finish.

KrustyClown2169Survived 1h 42mKills 0Cause Suicide

SAKHAL BUREAU · 1 week ago

The babayaga305's Debut Closes at an Hour and Thirty-Eight, With Nothing Filed After It

The babayaga305 arrived on Sakhal with no history anywhere to cite, survived six separate maulings including one that took thirteen bites, and then the record simply stopped writing about him.

The babayaga305Survived 1h 38mKills 0Cause Unknown

CHERNARUS BUREAU · 1 week ago

Steveo12491 Logged Thirty-Eight Sessions to Learn Chernarus Bites Back

Steveo12491's first recorded life anywhere closed after sixteen hours and twenty minutes, undone not by a rival but by the relentless arithmetic of the infected.

Steveo12491Survived 16h 20mKills 0Cause Unknown

SAKHAL BUREAU · 1 week ago

KampfKater5166's First Ledger Ever Closes at One Hour, Four Minutes, Cause Unlisted

KampfKater5166 had no history anywhere before today, and Sakhal spent sixty-four minutes composing one before declining to say how it ended.

KampfKater5166Survived 1h 4mKills 0Cause Unknown

LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 weeks ago

Thatguy3500 Outlasted Ten Bites, Then Beat His Pursuer to the Punch

Thatguy3500 had no life anywhere on record before today, and Livonia spent seventeen minutes writing one before he finished it himself, with someone else still closing the distance.

Thatguy3500Survived 0h 17mKills 0Cause Suicide

LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 weeks ago

MattWhitt7669 Introduced Himself to Livonia and the Infected Answered First

MattWhitt7669 had no record anywhere before today, and Livonia needed eight minutes to write one and close it in the same breath.

MattWhitt7669Survived 0h 8mKills 0Cause Unknown

SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 weeks ago

George Droyd491's Third File Never Chased His Own Best, Then He Closed It Anyway

George Droyd491 opened his third recorded life anywhere on Sakhal and closed it two hours and thirty-eight minutes later, by his own hand, while still being hunted.

George Droyd491Survived 2h 38mKills 0Cause Suicide

SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 weeks ago

ALEX666KORN Clawed Back From Zero, Then Vanished Without a Note

ALEX666KORN's first recorded life anywhere ended on Sakhal after twenty hours and nine minutes, closing a file that survived eighty-three separate visits from the infected and one documented trip to zero health, only for the paper's instruments to go silent at the moment that should have explained everything.

ALEX666KORNSurvived 20h 9mKills 0Cause Environment

SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 weeks ago

Gorfofthenorth Took Ten Visits From the Infected and Lost the Count That Mattered

Gorfofthenorth had no record anywhere before today, and Sakhal filled that silence in one hour and twenty-nine minutes flat.

GorfofthenorthSurvived 1h 29mKills 0Cause Infected

SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 weeks ago

TheRedWolf8613's Debut Ledger Closes at Three Meters, Courtesy of SonicTwistfist

TheRedWolf8613 had no prior life anywhere to draw on, and four hours and forty minutes into inventing one, a man named SonicTwistfist ended the experiment at conversational distance.

TheRedWolf8613Survived 4h 40mKills 0Cause Killed