Obituary · CHERNARUS BUREAU · today

RagingDutchy694 Broke His Own Suicide Streak by Falling Instead, and Still Didn't Beat His Best

Filed by The Desk · A life of RagingDutchy694 · Life 2 · Chernarus

RagingDutchy694 returned to Chernarus, the one map where he has ever done anything worth writing down, and spent four hours and fifty-two minutes proving he still hadn't learned to watch his footing.

The Rap Sheet · Deceased

Survived: 4h 52m
Kills: 0
Sessions: 10
Cause: Fell

“He survived everything that was trying to kill him and lost to the one thing that wasn't.”
— a fall-report clerk who stopped filing these under bad luck and started filing them under pattern

Twenty-five run-ins with the infected this life, one stretch of twelve hits that should have ended things outright, a body that bottomed out to nothing and somehow kept walking. None of it killed him. He was in good health, by every measure the record keeps, when he simply fell and did not get back up. Across two prior lives this desk has watched him die by his own hand as a matter of routine, most recently by choice; this time gravity did the job for him, four hours short of his personal best, and at least had the decency to make it look like an accident.

ObituariesChernarusEnvironmentRepeat Offender

The Final Reload

4h 52m in
Died — Fell
Energy 4410 · Water 3661 · bleeding ×2
4h 41m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
4h 35m in
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
4h 33m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
4h 22m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
4h 16m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 99
4h 11m in
Horde — 6 blows over 1m
HP down to 96
4h 03m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
3h 54m in
Horde — 4 blows over 2m
HP down to 100
3h 37m in
Horde — 8 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
3h 29m in
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 99
3h 09m in
Horde — 3 blows over 2m
HP down to 97
3h 07m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
3h 02m in
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 97
2h 53m in
Horde — 12 blows over 6m
HP down to 94
2h 20m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 94
2h 17m in
Horde — 11 blows over 1m
HP down to 90
2h 09m in
Horde — 10 blows over 5m
HP down to 98
2h 05m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
2h 02m in
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 95
1h 58m in
Horde — 9 blows over 1m
HP down to 92
1h 52m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 97
1h 45m in
Horde — 11 blows over 3m
HP down to 91
0h 58m in
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
0h 40m in
Horde — 8 blows over 4m
HP down to 99
0h 08m in
Sessions 2–10
9 logins
0h 05m in
Horde — 4 blows over 2m
HP down to 93
0h 05m in
Life qualified
Five minutes survived. The grace period ends; from here, death counts.
0h 00m
Washed ashore — life begins
Session 1. Grace period active.

More From the Morgue

The Final Reload

4h 52m in

Died — Fell

Energy 4410 · Water 3661 · bleeding ×2

4h 41m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 100

4h 35m in

Horde — 4 blows over 1m

HP down to 99

4h 33m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 100

4h 22m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 100

4h 16m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 99

4h 11m in

Horde — 6 blows over 1m

HP down to 96

4h 03m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 100

3h 54m in

Horde — 4 blows over 2m

HP down to 100

3h 37m in

Horde — 8 blows over 1m

HP down to 98

3h 29m in

Infected — 2 blows

HP down to 99

3h 09m in

Horde — 3 blows over 2m

HP down to 97

3h 07m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 100

3h 02m in

Horde — 4 blows over 1m

HP down to 97

2h 53m in

Horde — 12 blows over 6m

HP down to 94

2h 20m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 94

2h 17m in

Horde — 11 blows over 1m

HP down to 90

2h 09m in

Horde — 10 blows over 5m

HP down to 98

2h 05m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 100

2h 02m in

Horde — 4 blows over 1m

HP down to 95

1h 58m in

Horde — 9 blows over 1m

HP down to 92

1h 52m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 97

1h 45m in

Horde — 11 blows over 3m

HP down to 91

0h 58m in

Infected — 1 blow

HP down to 100

0h 40m in

Horde — 8 blows over 4m

HP down to 99

0h 08m in

Sessions 2–10

9 logins

0h 05m in

Horde — 4 blows over 2m

HP down to 93

0h 05m in

Life qualified

Five minutes survived. The grace period ends; from here, death counts.

0h 00m

Washed ashore — life begins

Session 1. Grace period active.