Obituary · LIVONIA BUREAU · 3 months ago
YrJustBad, whose file lists thirty-two prior lives and a personal habit of finishing them off himself, finally let someone else do the honors on Wednesday.
“He finally beat his own record and somebody else still got the credit.”
For once the record does not read suicide. YrJustBad clocked one day and five hours this time, a new personal best against a prior ceiling of one day two hours, and along the way logged a kill at eighty-two meters and walked away from ninety-seven separate disagreements with the infected, one of which took sixteen hits to settle. He survived three firefights that left visible damage and dropped as low as twenty-seven percent health without folding. Then RonaldRaygun552 closed the distance to thirteen meters with an SCR 17 and did what thirty-one previous lives had apparently been YrJustBad's own job.
The paper notes the achievement without irony: this is, on the numbers, the best YrJustBad has ever done. The paper also notes that it took thirty-two attempts to discover that someone else could do the killing faster than he could talk himself into it.
ObituariesLivoniaPvPPersonal Bests
Killed by RonaldRaygun552
SCR 17 · 13 m
Took a beating — 1 hit
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 99
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 95
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 72
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 65
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 60
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 53
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 99
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 7 blows over 4m
HP down to 98
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 97
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 98
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 100
Horde — 7 blows over 2m
HP down to 98
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 98
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 99
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 99
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 72
Took a beating — 44 hits
HP down to 69
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 98
Horde — 11 blows over 5m
HP down to 97
Horde — 5 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
Horde — 8 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 98
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 100
Horde — 6 blows over 2m
HP down to 98
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 99
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Horde — 5 blows over 3m
HP down to 99
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 3 blows over 2m
HP down to 98
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 96
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 99
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 99
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 98
Horde — 5 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Horde — 12 blows over 2m
HP down to 95
Horde — 10 blows over 2m
HP down to 94
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Horde — 7 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Horde — 7 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
Horde — 9 blows over 3m
HP down to 98
Horde — 5 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
Horde — 6 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
Horde — 5 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Horde — 6 blows over 4m
HP down to 98
Horde — 5 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 98
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 99
Horde — 10 blows over 3m
HP down to 98
Horde — 8 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Sessions 6–36
31 logins
Mosin 91/30 · 82 m
Horde — 9 blows over 2m
HP down to 97
Horde — 4 blows over 3m
HP down to 99
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 97
Horde — 13 blows over 3m
HP down to 92
Horde — 13 blows over 4m
HP down to 98
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 97
Session 5 began
Logged in.
Firefight — hit by LowerMarrow774
1 hit taken · HP 98
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 99
Horde — 5 blows over 2m
HP down to 97
Horde — 8 blows over 2m
HP down to 99
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Horde — 16 blows over 3m
HP down to 94
Horde — 14 blows over 5m
HP down to 98
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 100
Firefight — hit by XxBE4zyxX
1 hit taken · HP 92
Horde — 7 blows over 2m
HP down to 96
Horde — 3 blows over 1m
HP down to 98
Horde — 4 blows over 1m
HP down to 97
Horde — 6 blows over 2m
HP down to 95
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 100
Infected — 2 blows
HP down to 97
Horde — 4 blows over 4m
HP down to 92
Infected — 1 blow
HP down to 97
Sessions 2–4
3 logins
Horde — 3 blows over 3m
HP down to 94
Life qualified
Five minutes survived. The grace period ends; from here, death counts.
Horde — 6 blows over 2m
HP down to 85
Washed ashore — life begins
Session 1. Grace period active.