Turdbazket Beats His Own Record on Chernarus, Then Forgets the Point of Living

Three sessions went into assembling this life, which is more effort than the man has historically invested in any of his previous seven, six of which ended by his own hand rather than anyone else's. This time was different: no blade, no dispute settled early. He fought off the infected three separate times, absorbed six hits in the worst of it, dropped to thirty-five out of a hundred, and walked away from all of it standing. Then his stomach simply ran out before his luck did, and the desk notes that a body which survives a swarm and skips lunch anyway is not surviving anything at all.

His usual cause of death has been suicide, seven times running, so there is a certain grim symmetry in a life that finally let the environment do the deciding. Zero kills across eight lives on this map, zero across the entire career. He remains a man who has never once made someone else's obituary his problem.