Turdbazket Dies of Something That Wasn't Himself for Once

Thirteen minutes, two sessions, and three separate run-ins with the infected later, turdbazket bled out with a body count of thirteen hits stacked on him from the last encounter alone, his health cratering to eleven before the ledger closed the file. Zero kills to his name this life, zero across the six that came before it, and yet somehow the record shows genuine effort in the dying — a rare achievement for a man whose usual exit strategy has been himself. Chernarus, the one map that ever gave him a run worth remembering, apparently decided to remind him what predators are for.