Turdbazket Outsurvives Five Ghosts of Himself, Then the Ledger Just Stops

Five prior lives, none longer than three minutes, most of them closed by turdbazket's own decision rather than the world's. This one broke the personal record by a factor of four, survived the kind of mauling that usually writes its own headline, and still the paper has nothing to put next to the time of death. The usual verdict on this man's files is suicide, filed so often it stopped being news. This time even that courtesy is withheld — the record simply goes quiet, which is either mercy or an insult, depending on how you read a blank line where a cause should be.