The Morgue
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
GreenGreg420 opened his first-ever file anywhere with thirty-two minutes on the clock and closed it bleeding, having taken on the infected five times and won exactly zero of those arguments.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
Grumpy8269 arrived on the record for the first time in any life, anywhere, and left it again before a kettle would've boiled.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552, on his twelfth documented attempt at staying alive anywhere on the continent, spent two hours and twenty-eight minutes in good standing before a wolf ended a career previously ended, eleven separate times, by other people.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
Livonia logged two days and fourteen hours out of Unforgivn420 this life — more than double anything he'd managed anywhere on record — before ruling the cause a mauling, the two hundred fifty-fifth run-in with the infected finally the one that counted.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
kuhn028 arrived in Chernarus with no record, no history, and no idea what was waiting — and left the same way, forty-six minutes later, considerably more flammable.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
xWoAAHx, whose prior file on this circuit read like a cautionary pamphlet, spent one hour and twelve minutes proving the pamphlet wrong before closing the book themselves, dehydrated and done.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
LELIN8692 arrived on these shores for the first time in any recorded history and departed twenty-four minutes later with a body that had reached zero of everything and a cause of death that the paper simply does not have.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552 survived two separate maulings by the infected — the worse of the two four hits deep — and then died anyway, of nothing the record cares to name, eight minutes into his seventh documented Livonia life.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552 survived eleven separate arguments with the infected, one of which nearly went the full nineteen rounds, only to be closed out at conversational distance by a rifle in the hands of a man who introduced himself as YrJustBad.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552 notched his first confirmed kill in eleven documented lives on Wednesday, then spent the next several hours proving a single data point does not make a legacy.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
XxBE4zyxX outlasted his own personal best by nearly a full day this time, which the record will note mostly because the ending was so much louder than the achievement.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
TheFranClan arrived with no file anywhere on the continent, fought the infected to a standstill three separate times, and twenty-three minutes in became a name with no cause attached to it.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
YrJustBad, whose file lists thirty-two prior lives and a personal habit of finishing them off himself, finally let someone else do the honors on Wednesday.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
TickleMeElmo769 arrived on Sakhal with no history to speak of and, within thirty-two minutes, a fairly comprehensive one — five separate scuffles with the infected, one of them a twenty-hit marathon that left them at a documented twenty-eight percent of themselves, survived in full.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
Serekterium's entire recorded existence lasted twenty-four minutes and ended not with a gunshot or a bite but with the quiet administrative fact of having nothing left to eat.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552 lasted thirty-one minutes on Sakhal this time, which is not the story — the story is that whatever ended it left no mark, no bite, no bruise, and no explanation for the paper to print.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552 survived five hours and seventeen minutes on Livonia before the infected finally caught up with him, which made this his longest life in nine documented attempts and did not save him regardless.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 3 months ago
RonaldRaygun552 clawed back from a health total the paper's ledger records simply as zero, survived the worst of fourteen separate maulings, and then, fully healed and presumably feeling invincible, stepped off something and died anyway.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 3 months ago
Angryas1anpanda spent ninety-one minutes proving the infected of Chernarus couldn't finish the job, then finished it personally, in good health, with a clean bill and zero kills to show for any of it.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 3 months ago
Angryas1anpanda made it through nineteen separate disagreements with the infected, the worst of which alone landed eleven hits, and then died anyway of a bleed nobody bothered to stop.