The Morgue
LIVONIA BUREAU · 1 month ago
ShadowX1971 arrived on Livonia with no history anywhere on any ledger, took thirteen hits from something with teeth, and won that argument. Nine minutes after the clock started, it stopped, and the paper cannot tell you why.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 1 month ago
RonaldRaygun552 spent three hours and forty-nine minutes surviving twenty-one separate meetings with the infected, walked away from the worst of them with a dozen bites still on his ledger and his health intact, and then closed the file himself.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
Five sessions and eighty-two minutes were what WhoKares7871 needed to answer every question Sakhal's infected posed and none of the ones his own stomach did.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552's eighth Sakhal life ran two hours and twenty-four minutes before he closed it himself, which by the standards of his own file counts as a personal best.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
SharpKilling686 had no record on any map before today, and forty-eight minutes into writing one, absorbed a twenty-nine-hit mauling that left the body reading six out of a hundred — and then, having stabilized, was found dead of nothing the file will name.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
Adrucx07 had no history on any map before Chernarus, and three hours and twenty-two minutes into changing that, the file simply stops, with nothing entered where a cause of death should be.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
Orvosnagy's first appearance on any ledger, on any map, lasted seventeen minutes — long enough to survive the infected twice, and not long enough to survive whatever came after them.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
JPeterman3466 had no file anywhere on any continent before today, and fourteen minutes after that file opened, it closed — one encounter with the infected, sixteen separate teeth marks, and a walk that ended in a jog that ended on the ground.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
By the time the infected caught up to Randymarsh2915, he had already logged seven prior run-ins with the local wildlife, the ugliest of which required twenty-nine separate attempts before it counted as finished.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
Hayukeen74 arrived on Chernarus with no history anywhere, on any ledger, and departed thirty minutes later having taken eleven bites in a single sitting and bled out before anyone could argue the math.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
Factorm9162495 absorbed six separate maulings on Chernarus, the worst of them a twenty-seven-hit beating that by any reasonable accounting should have been the entry under cause of death — and then walked away from all of it into a file that closes with nothing written down at all.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
Get0ffMyLawn995 opened a clean file on Sakhal, first appearance anywhere on any ledger, and closed it forty-nine minutes later with the infected holding a unanimous decision.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
Colaman1723 arrived on Chernarus with no history anywhere on record, and the record now stands complete: one session, nine minutes, and a single encounter with the infected that went to twelve before the bleeding decided the outcome.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
Twenty-two minutes was the entire tenure of Cee Lo GREEN 96 on Sakhal, four sessions spent apparently searching for anything except food, and the body that turned up belonged to a man whose stomach had simply given up arguing with him.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
Eight sessions and nearly five hours were not enough for Happymeal126519 to locate a single meal on Sakhal, and the body eventually agreed with the math.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
Lilmearnsy arrived on Sakhal with no history anywhere on the continent and departed thirty minutes later, having outfought the infected four separate times and lost a war of attrition against an empty stomach.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
Twenty-one minutes stands as the longest OneLife1312 has ever lasted on any map, in any life, across nine total attempts at staying alive. He beat his own record by six minutes and used the extra time to end it.
CHERNARUS BUREAU · 2 months ago
OneLife1312 took ten minutes to close a file that had already outlasted nothing in his history worth bragging about, and did the closing himself, in good health, with no infected anywhere near the pen.
SAKHAL BUREAU · 2 months ago
RonaldRaygun552 survived four separate sit-downs with the infected this life, the worst of them leaving him at fifteen percent of himself, and then, in apparent good health, simply stopped being alive.
LIVONIA BUREAU · 2 months ago
Livonia had no prior record of HillyGorilla175 — no life, no death, no reputation — and after one hour and thirty-seven minutes across five sittings, it has exactly one entry, and it ends in bleeding.